Tinder no-gos

Like I mentioned before, I was an early adopter of Tinder in Switzerland. I installed it end of July 2013, and among the very few ladies using it in Genève, pretty much all seemed to be expats. The locals hadn’t apparently heard about it yet. The idea behind the app seemed pretty interesting. You can chat with a girl only if you “like” her and she “likes” you back. Except that the girls here rarely start the conversation (it happened exactly once). Even worse are the ones not answering. So you suddenly feel too precious to reply to my somewhat clumsy approach? Sometimes however it can click. After a couple of months, when the app started to gain some traction, I found myself chatting with a girl for two months, we met, chatted some more, but then out of the blue she decided she wasn’t ready to see someone. That’s when it dawned on me that everyone probably had its own reason to use Tinder. There weren’t only singles. Some girls would use it to – crudely worded – see what they’re worth on the market, some would tease you and then ignore you properly. Just like in real world. Tinder is free, so I guess you get what you pay for. You can’t use it to find a girl. It’s just a game.

That being said, it still is quite sad to see how some people are selling themselves. I’m not trying to be mean here. I just don’t understand.

Turn your irony filter ON, here we go:

A duck-faced selfie. Doubled. C-c-c-c-combo breaker!
A duck-faced selfie. Doubled. C-c-c-c-combo breaker!
Same girl, same effect, but with a mirror selfie
Same girl, same effect, but with a mirror selfie
A blurry picture where you can’t see shit. Oh and it seems you know how to party. Good girl. Nobody else knows how to party.
A blurry picture where you can’t see shit. Oh and it seems you know how to party. Good girl. Nobody else knows how to party.
The game of “let me go through your other pics to figure out which one of the two you are”. And duck-faces.
The game of “let me go through your other pics to figure out which one of the two you are”. And duck-faces.
This is your only picture? Why are you on Tinder?
This is your only picture? Why are you on Tinder?
You sure it is you?
You sure it is you?
Dumb picture and even dumber description: “une chieuse, jalouse, capricieuse et je le revendique”. O-k-a-y.
Dumb picture and even dumber description: “une chieuse, jalouse, capricieuse et je le revendique”. O-k-a-y.
You have kids and white female friends. Good for you.
You have kids and white female friends. Good for you.
Blurry
Blurry
Useless originality because I can’t see you, and I don’t want to anyway because you’re in the arms of a guy. Who might be your brother, but on a dating app, all the guys are boyfriends.
Useless originality because I can’t see you, and I don’t want to anyway because you’re in the arms of a guy. Who might be your brother, but on a dating app, all the guys are boyfriends.
Haha. Nice try.
Haha. Nice try.
Nice silhouette. For all I know, you’re just trying to hide your ugly face.
Nice silhouette. For all I know, you’re just trying to hide your ugly face.
Why?
Why?
This is a personal no-go: soccer fans.
This is a personal no-go: soccer fans.
Look ma, I’m drunk! Nobody looks great when drunk.
Look ma, I’m drunk! Nobody looks great when drunk.
Another double combo: against the light and I don’t know who’s who.
Another double combo: against the light and I don’t know who’s who.
Ah... cheesy quotes...
Ah... cheesy quotes...
Another personal no-go: gun lovers.
Another personal no-go: gun lovers.
KIDS!
KIDS!
Yet another personal no-go: horses
Yet another personal no-go: horses
What an artist you are!
What an artist you are!
You have 2 pictures up, and one is of your childhood. Good luck.
You have 2 pictures up, and one is of your childhood. Good luck.
Moar gun nuts!
Moar gun nuts!
Smoking is soo hot. Plus duck-faced selfie.
Smoking is soo hot. Plus duck-faced selfie.
Even better than the picture with your BFF: the picture with your FOUR BFFs
Even better than the picture with your BFF: the picture with your FOUR BFFs
The big-hearted blue-eyed humanitarian
The big-hearted blue-eyed humanitarian
A very natural pose
A very natural pose
With a duck-faced guy. Double fail.
With a duck-faced guy. Double fail.
Mad Photoshop skillz
Mad Photoshop skillz
Not really your fault, but funny name
Not really your fault, but funny name

Judging by what Buzzfeed has to say, it seems that the guys are just as weird as the girls. Happy Tinder-ing everyone!